Thanksgiving is almost upon us. It is always a stressful time — too much travel, too much food, too many people in one room, too much family. But it is also a time for forming memories. There will be moments, good and bad, that will become part of family lore, retold long after everyone goes home and the dishes are finally cleaned. And while horrible in the moment, disaster during times like these make for the most interesting stories going forward: do you remember that time when Uncle Bob spilled all of the gravy on the brand new rug? High emotions make for long lasting memories. Spilled gravy makes for a more memorable story than delicious gravy. It’s just how we are built — we remember the insane stories better than quiet ones. And when we retell those stories to our children, we try to turn them into teaching moments: Uncle Bob shouldn’t have been trying to carry hot dish without gloves, even if he tells everyone he has asbestos fingers.

Thanksgiving is not only family togetherness time, it is also the time for filling out college applications — double stress. I’ve helped a lot of kids with their essays — I help them organize their thinking and prioritize what might appeal to college admissions board. Not many students are writers at that age, and even fewer will grow up to write professional essays or stories as adults. When we ask teenagers in their last year of high school to come up with gem-like paragraphs that crystallize who they are and make them stand out from the thousands of other students trying to do the same, we’re asking for nearly impossible. The essay readers spend about a minute scanning through each essay, and they read hundreds per day. How can a kid define him or herself memorably amongst all those others?

Writing these college essays requires students to see themselves from the outside — a hard task for anyone, but especially hard given where they are in their cognitive and emotional devolvement. When I write my stories, I want my readers to have something more than the story. I want to create a core, a seed that gets planted and blossoms into a revelation they perhaps never would have had have they not read my story. The same is true for college essays — these students need to come up with some cohesive narrative about themselves that is interesting as well as memorable and different. Something that will cause the college essay readers to put them on the “yes” stack.

One of this year’s questions — and these questions are pretty similar year-to-year, because they are hard to write — is “What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?” The question immediately focuses the kid’s attention on themselves, instead of the reader. The result is predictable: I’ve always been good at math, science, dancing, sports, etc. There will be thousands of kids with exactly the same answers, telling almost identical stories. Can it be done differently? Yes! Start with “what story would be interesting to read.” The essay is asking for a memorable personal story. My recent recommendation has been to structure the answer in a form of “this is my superpower.” What would follow will be a much more interesting answer than “I’ve always been good at…” So for all of you who are helping your loved ones write these stories, I hope this helps a little.

For the rest of you, please get a few free ebooks to help you ride out the holidays with less stress and more fun. Remember: Black Friday doesn’t have to be about consumerism. Stories are the best gifts and they stay with us longer than sweaters and socks.

As a kid I always had a book to read during the family gatherings. It saved me. So consider getting a few free fantasy and sci-fi ebooks.

Happy reading!